To my Son... Thank you, and I am Sorry

To my Son,

Thank you for taking this change in such stride. It has not been easy to go from having Mommy at your side, to having a building full of strangers try and tend to your needs. But thank you for being patient and working with them.

I am sorry it has been so hard. I am sorry that we have been asked to walk this tough road. I am sorry that so much does not make sense right now.



Thank you for not backing down when things don't make sense. Thank you for not giving up, for pressing on. Thank you for your persistence in trying to understand the world around you.

I am sorry I don't always let you ask your questions so that you might understand this world a bit better. I am sorry that I am often distracted when you seem to bound with endless inquiries. I am sorry that I can be short with you.



Thank you for having such a kind heart. Thank you for being exactly who you are. Thank you for not fitting into any man-made mold that was ever contrived for you.

I am sorry that I have misjudged you. I am sorry that I jump to quick conclusions when I should really slow down and see the bigger picture. I am sorry that I don't always see how spot on your motives truly are.



Thank you for teaching me to look at the heart of a person regardless of their externals. Thank you for pushing me out of my parenting comfort zone. Thank you for building into me a greater sense of love and compassion for those who hurt and struggle around us.

I am sorry you are not always going to be given the benefit of the doubt. I am sorry that often times people are going to see your external behavior and stop right there. I am even more sorry that it may just happen that those around you excuse their own behavior based on yours.



Thank you for getting us "kicked out" of that religious building and causing us to seek Christ. Thank you for making us question everything we have ever known. Thank you for causing us to press into Christ in ways we never would have previously.

I am sorry that they saw your behavior as a sin issue. I am sorry that they thought fitting you into a behavioral mold would show that we were parenting well. I am sorry that they couldn't see your heart.



Thank you for showing me this has nothing to do with sin. Thank you for showing me that this has everything to do with Christ and His plans for us. Thank you for blazing a trail we may have never been brave enough to trod without you leading the way.

I am sorry that I ever thought that this had something to do with sin. I am sorry that we were not always your biggest advocates. I am sorry that we parented according to the law and not according to grace.



Thank you for loving me well. Thank you for your hugs, your smile and your infectious giggle. Thank you for letting me learn as we go.

I am sorry that I am still learning to love well in return. I am sorry I don't hug you more and smile all day. I am sorry that I love to tickle you just so I can hear that giggle.



Thank you for being exactly who Christ created you to be.

I am sorry that it has taken your Momma this long to see the beauty in it.



I love you to the moon and back a million trillion times,
Mom